Dreams

Sometimes I wonder how my dreams seem to apply to everyone but me. I know that it isn't true it just seems that way sometimes. Everyone has dreams of what there life will be like and dreams of what they want for the house and family. I have realistic dreams and yet I still don't seem to get them. I have one big dream right now and that is for children although I know that it is something I have no say over. I can plan it all I want but if it isn't the right time then it won't happen. It is something that is completely out of my control really, it just seems that I am the only one left that can't have this dream. Even family that isn't married and have no job can have a wonderful baby and I can't. Maybe I waited to long in my life. I should have done it sooner maybe. I shouldn't have been so careful all those years with birth control. These are the things that go through my mind and yet I know I did the right thing. I wanted to be married and have my career and a house first. I know that these things don't really matter but they did to me. I wanted to be different than all my cousins who were very young (18) not married, no careers and still lived at home. I am not saying that this is wrong in any way I am just stating facts. I just wanted to be different than what they did. I know that if it is meant to be it will happen I just hope it is sooner than later cause I want 2 kids but I only have a few years left. Tony wants to be under 40 when we are having our last child and that only gives me 5 years left.

On another note of dreams I have noticed that I have had some very odd and vivid dreams the last couple of nights. They are all very weird. Some of them I won't go into cause I wasn't something that I would discuss but very weird. Another one I was getting a 2nd tattoo and for some reason I put it on top of my first one. I had a princess type women on my shoulder blade and was getting a poker hand tattooed on top of it but so that the women's face was showing over the top of it. This was odd as I don't have any tattoos and would never get one on my shoulder blade. I don't play poker at all either. the princess would be fine but she was a weird looking princess. I don't know why I am having these dreams but maybe I have a lot more on my mind than I thought I did.

I am getting excited now though. Only 2 more days of work and then I am off on holidays. I am off for almost the entire month of August. I just have a few shifts at the end of the month that is it. I can't wait to go away for the long weekend then my brothers wedding on the 9th. Then we go away for 2 weeks to the lake and I can relax and enjoy and not think to much.

Wedding

Well yesterday we went to Tom and Jens wedding. The cake went over well from what I was told. I was happy with the final ending to it although I didn't take the final picture of it so it isn't from the same angles.

I was happy with it and now almost want to do another one as I have some new ideas I want to try out. As frustrated as I get with the fondant I still enjoy doing it.

The wedding was great. The weather was perfect being not to hot or cold and with it being a bit cloudy it made the pictures turn out great. I was even happy in the dress that I wore that showed cleavage. Those that know me well know that I NEVER show cleavage as I am very uncomfortable. I have to admit over the last couple of months though I have been able to be comfortable with my body and will show off what I have now.

We haven't been out past 1 in a while so I am quite tired today. I know it makes us sound old but it is true. We don't go out partying or anything so this was a lot of fun. We got to see some people we hadn't seen in a while and got to catch up. I had a great time but now look forward to sleeping in tomorrow to catch up on some sleep. I am saying this for the record though so it can be looked back on in a few months that I think they will end up with a honeymoon baby. I just have a feeling.

Work

Well I sit here at work very bored. I don't normally have time to sit and write while I am on day shift but today is unusually slow. There is only 8 patients and 3 nurses so we are all bored. At least there is 3 computers and we can get on facebook at work. It is now my break so I am doing this on my own time at least.

I do wish I was at home so i could have slept in though. I don't sleep well when I am on day shift cause I am so scared I am going to miss my alarm. Only tomorrow left though and then I am off on Friday and I will sleep in for sure. I have to clean the house really well though in case my in laws drop in on the way to the wedding on Saturday.

On a different note I think I have found a new friend. I won't post her name on here as there is others that read this but hopefully she will know who she is. I am sure a few of you may have noticed cause no one else post comments. I haven't actually even met her yet but have emailed a bit with her and have been reading her blog. I have found that we are very much alike with things that we do. I am hoping to meet her though and now that she may be moving closer to me if she finds a house tonight then I hope it will work into a good friendship.

Friends are important to me. I don't have to see them everyday or even talk to them. I have a few that i only see and talk to every couple of months but they are still important parts on my life and would do anything for them. I think everyone should have good friends that can be there for them or talk to them when needed. Even if it is only once or twice a year friends can be there when the time is right. We are all special in our own way and can help others in all different ways.
I read a post once that said Friends are angels here on earth and I believe that some of my friends are angels. They seem to know when I need them.

Sleep

My weekend didn't go as planned. I had it planned out that I would get lots of sleep. I like my sleep and love to sleep in. When I say sleep in I don't mean until 9 I mean sleep till noon. I have always liked sleep. So many people tell me that i am wasting my day by sleeping in that late but in my mind if I was awake I would just be tired and wouldn't be doing anything anyway. If I have something planned then I can get up no problem but if I don't then I sleep. Saturday I knew I had to get up cause we had an appointment at the bank so that was fine. Saturday night we went and saw Spamalot down in Vancouver. Peter got us the tickets for our birthdays and we really liked it. Then the weekend got messed up. Sunday I was planning on sleeping in till noon. Tony would get up and go to paintball and I would sleep in getting up when I wanted to then I would clean the house. Unfortunately paintball got cancelled so I couldn't sleep in. Tony didn't leave so he figured that we could get things going around the house. See he doesn't get the whole sleep in thing. He feels that you shoudl get up and get the day going. I still cleaned the house but now he was home and I was up early and not happy so it didn't go well at all. Then I wanted to go to bed early and that didn't happen either. At least I got to sleep in today. I have to work form 3-11 again today though and I am not excited about that. It is just an extra shift again in the extended care. They are just such boring shifts but at least it is money. Tomorrow is my day off though so I can sleep in and do what ever I want all day. Now I have to go and get ready for work. I have half an hour and I have to make Tony's lunch for tomorrow so that i don't have to do it when I get home tonight. I don't know why I started making his lunch for him. He is a big boy and can do it himself, I guess I grew up with my mom doing it for my dad so I do it for him. I can't wait to sleep in again tomorrow. Then I can do what I want, with the exception of some laundry. Then it is the end of sleeping in for a few days. I wokr 12 hours days on Wednesday and Thursday so by Friday I will be wanting to sleep in again.

Cake

This is just a quick post for me to upload the wedding cake pics so far. It is just the basic cake and then with the ribbon. I will still have to get the proper flowers as these were just to get an idea of what it will look like but it will have red roses instead. It isn't quite how i wanted it but I will see what I can do. I will be posting more tomorrow I am just too tired tonight.

About me

I guess I should have started yesterday with a little about me. I guess I was just thinking about that cake though. I did get all the fondant done on it and all I have left is to add ribbon around it and the roses. I got the hard part done. It didn't take me as long as I thought it would. I think I will only do square cakes from now on as they are so much easier till I get better at it.

Well about me. I just turned 30 and I really don't mind. I find that 30 finally makes me an adult so I can enjoy 30 I just may not get any older. I have been married to the most wonderful guy for just over 2 years now. That seems like such a short time when I write it though. I guess it is because I have actually been with him for 12 years. We have been living together for 11 of those years as well. We were just a bit slow on the marriage part of it. Both of us wanted to finish school first. For some reason I wanted me degree in my maiden name and I don't know why. We bought our house 4 years ago now and I love it. I have a few ideas of what we can do for some additions to it but I think we have to have a windfall of money for the supplies first. I am a nurse in the Hospice unit and Love my job. Most people can't figure out how I can love all the death but I guess you just have to be there to understand it. Most people can't figure out how I became a nurse because in high school that was the farthest thing from my mind. My mom is a nurse and i was never going to be like her. Everyone though I would be a mechanics teacher. This was me in high school and no one thought I would then become a nurse. I do miss the racing though. I look back at old pictures and wish I was doing it again. I look into the profiles on facebook of my teachers daughters who are now grown up and drive the car themselves and it makes me miss it even more. I was very proud to be the only girl out there at the time though.

There isn't much else to me I guess. I like to read and spend my free time in the summer at our cabin on the lake. I love to spend time with my husband which is how I ended up going to his paintball games and then somehow now I work the tournaments in the paint booth. Although now I see less of his games that way. I come from a family of 6. I have 2 brothers and one sister. My brother and sister are twins and then I have a baby brother. He doesn't like that I call him that though because he is almost 24. My older of the 2 brothers is getting married in a couple of weeks so I will gain a sister in law. The other 2 are single and I wish they could find someone to add to our family. I think they wish they could find someone too. My brother in laws (Tony's brothers) aren't married yet either so I don't have anyone else to add yet, although his one other does have a girlfriend that could lead to something. His twin brothers are the same age as my twin brother and sister so we have 4 of them the same age. Tony also has a sister that is 32 so there is definitely more boys than girls in this family so I am hoping out of all of us someone has some girls when they start having kids. Well I am off to get ready for work. I have some time but I want to relax as well. It is just an easy pick up shift that I took. It is in the extended care rather than my own unit so it is just an 8 hour shift. That way Tony has time to play some video games before I get home.

Getting Started

Well I have never Blogged before and with some prodding from others I decided to try it. I will see how this goes.
Right now I am supposed to be making my friends wedding cake and instead I am setting this up. I will have to get going on the cake though. I have no idea how I got started making cakes for others. I am a Nurse and that has nothing to do with cakes. I do make cakes for birthdays and decorate them but wedding cakes are different. I guess it started when I made my own cake for my wedding. I was too cheap to buy one cause they are expensive. I figured if I could decorate a birthday cake I could do a wedding cake. Well I was surprised Tony still wanted to marry me after that experience. I just do fake wedding cakes cause if I mess it up I just wash it off and start all over again. I had never used fondant before and that was the problem. The stuff didn't roll out the way it was supposed to, then it didn't fold nice to the cake. Plus it was round and it didn't smooth out nicely on the edges. Needless to say there was a lot of yelling and crying over my cake, which in the end worked out just fine. Now I had said I would never work with fondant again and here I am about to do it again.
I think the difference this time though is the cake is square so the edges should fold in nicely and I don't have to "decorate" the cake really. Just some ribbon around it and then on the day of the wedding I can buy some roses and add them to it. Very simple. I wish that I had done that for my cake, I just didn't investigate it much. I had an idea in my head and went for it. What i got was not what was in my head though.
I have 2 wedding in the next month to go to and then I get vacation. That is what I am looking forward to. I need some time to relax. I haven't been able to do that lately and I need it. When I am on holidays it will be the one year angelversary of my baby so I am hoping that I can not think about that much and just move on with my life. After I passed my due date with no baby I seemed to get better. I have moved on and enjoyed being around babies and pregnant women again. Until then I didn't want anything to do with either and now I am okay. I am back to loving babies and kids and am fine with seeing all these pregnant women all around me. I know at my brothers wedding there will be at least 5 babies and they are all younger than what mine should be and I will be okay with it. I know it will happen when it is right for us. I just have to figure out how to not think about it. Yeah right.
Well I think I have written enough for the first post and I will go and tackle that cake now. Once I get started then the sooner I finish it and my goal is to finish the fondant today so that I can relax till next week when I can do the ribbon and roses.