Life has to go on

Well just as I was starting to feel more normal and not burst into tears every time I thought of my uncle I am now back to lots of tears. I knew my grandpa wasn't doing well but I had hoped he would hold on a little longer. He passed away Friday night. The day before my uncles Celebration of Life. My parents had called for me to be there earlier but I didn't go. I wanted to but I knew there would be no way I could drive home after so I waited till Tony got home. Then we had to drive his brother to his parents. I guess I could have not gone in to there place to visit for a bit but we did. They hadn't seen the ultrasound pics so it was only fair they got to see them. I know my grandpa wasn't alone and that was all that was important. I did see him the day before and he was awake and talking a bit to us. Part of me thought that he would be around for a lot longer. I guess I always thought that he would be around for a few more years even until this summer when he started looking more his age and frail. My poor aunt wasn't here for it and I can't imagine what she is going through right now. We then had my uncles Celebration of Life the next day on the island. We were running on only a few hours sleep so that made it hard. The ceremony the firefighters did was great. They had the flag at half mast and they had everyone crowd around it. They then said a few words about my uncle and then during a moment of silence they raised the flag back up to honour him. It was very touching and had a lot of meaning in it. After that we just went into the fire hall and shared great stories and visited with everyone. It wasn't a sad day completely. Although every time I say that Life Sucks, Tony reminds me to rub my belly as life is going on and it is great in there.

Now it is December 1st and I have to leave November behind as it was such an awful month for us. December can only be better. We will have grandpas Celebration of Life but that will be okay. I want to start decorating and baking and getting ready for Christmas as I haven't done any of that yet and I usually have some baking done. I have to get one of my cakes done for Thursday as it is my work Christmas Party. I love Christmas so maybe it will turn out happy. I have my doctors appointment on Thursday and I am so excited about that. I just want to know if I have a boy or girl. We actually have a name picked for a boy now. We won't be sharing our names though, that is something we are sure of. We want that to be a surprise. I guess we are figuring it will be a boy though cause we don't have a girls name at all. It will be a surprise if it is a girl though. A good surprise though.